Now that mainstream audiences are open to hearing about queer experiences and media outlets are aware of the need for positive representation, I’ve travelled the world to report on gay-themed stories. I’m not saying that every gay person makes a better writer than a straight one but everyone who’s experienced both the ups and downs of life certainly does.Īs a journalist and broadcaster, my sexuality has also benefitted my career.
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Straight readers often tell me that following my gay characters as they struggle to create their own path through life – usually culminating in triumph, as I love a happy ending! – inspires them to live a little more freely themselves. So when I write my novels about lonely outsiders learning to love themselves, it’s a huge advantage to do this from a place of knowledge.
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It’s something all writers need to understand. And yes, a lot of this has come from my experience of pain – the pain of being misunderstood, rejected, unwanted – but pain is a fact of life. Being gay has also allowed me to access a deep well of emotion that might not otherwise have been open to me. As a member of a minority population that historically existed outside respectable society, I can be a detached observer. And it’s given me a unique role within my biological family, all of whom can appreciate that I contribute something very different to what comes from my straight siblings.Īs a writer, I’ve found my sexuality to be a superpower. While some more traditionally-minded gay men may find this limiting, I’ve found it liberating it’s freed me up to pursue my own creative projects. In fact, I’ve often detected an expectation that I’ll follow an expressly different path to the norm. I’ve also been subjected to less pressure to marry, hold down a steady job and start a family. I don’t have to watch sports and flex my masculinity by proving knowledge of a team’s form (although I can if I want to).
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I can wear feminine clothes and sing or dance around to upbeat pop music.
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I even have a few straight male friends, men who enjoy gay company as an opportunity to free themselves from the pressure to conform to a toxic idea of masculinity that can restrict their individuality and suppress their spirit.Īs a gay man, I feel far less restricted by the expectation that men should behave in a certain way. I also have a special bond with my gay friends, people who’ve been through similar experiences to me and travelled a similar journey towards self-acceptance.
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These include free-thinking and sexually expressive straight women, who cherish their gay friends as people around whom they won’t be judged. And, this Pride month, I want to celebrate that.įirst of all, I have more friends than I could ever have imagined. Growing up in working class Bolton in the 1980s, at the height of the AIDS crisis, I just wanted to take a pill and wake up straight.īut now I can see that so much of what I love about my life is a result of my sexuality. When the bullies at school would beat me up and call me “queer”, I wanted nothing more than to be “normal”. As a gay man, I feel far less restricted by the expectation that men should behave in a certain way (Getty Images)īeing gay is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I never thought I’d say that.